Yes, there are more telltale signs than a name that ends with -son, -sen, -ssen, -sson, or -ston. For across-the-breed insight into Lutheran character, peruse the pages of our tell-all manual, including ethnic breakdowns identifying Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, Finnish, and German strains of the sect. And if that's not enough to confirm your eternal salvation, serve your eggshell coffee in our exclusive and appropriately understated mug, complete with Garrison Keillor's verse that perfectly captures Midwestern Lutheranism. 15-oz. capacity; microwave and dishwasher safe. Book is softcover, 211 pages.
I'm A Lutheran
We are modest people
And we never fuss
And it sure would be a better world
If they were all as modest as us.
We do not go for whooping it up,
Or a lot of yikkety-yak.
When we say hello, we avert our eyes
And we always sit in the bak.
We sit in the pew where we always sit,
And we do not shout Amen.
And if anyone yells or waves their hands,
They're not invoted back again.
© Garrison Keillor
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